Friday, January 2, 2009

The thing about resolutions

I am conflicted about New Year resolutions. I think its good and healthy to have goals for yourself. On the other hand there is nothing in the world that can make you feel more like a loser than a resolution that has gone bust in the second month.

I hear phrases that start with always or never again and I do a mental eye roll. I too have stood in that spot and vowed to "always" or "never". All it got me was disappointment. Of course this may just be me.... I am sure that there are plenty of people that lose all their weight or quit that bad habit for life.

As I get older my views about resolutions has morphed. Oh, I still make resolutions. They however are big general items instead of specific objectives. I don't say "I will drink 8 glasses of water a day, exercise every other day and only eat when I am hungry". Hello failure ... here I come!!! ( I mean everyone knows that you must finish your toddlers uneaten food like you are some sort of food patrol. Forget that you are not hungry at all... what does that matter?) I try to stick to resolutions that are fashioned more like " I will try to be more healthy this year". To me this means being proactive about my health by going to doctor, trying to eat healthier and squeeze in exercise that does not consist of pretending like I am a lion for my toddler.

So I am going to be totally honest with you ladies about this years resolution. I am hoping that it somehow makes me more accountable somehow. Maybe I am hoping that my good friend will read this and give me the kick in the booty when I need it. ( Oh you know who you are..... )

I am going to try to stop being a martyr. There. I said it. Somehow since embracing this job of motherhood that I love so much, I have picked up the nasty habit of becoming a martyr on occasion. Let me give you an example. " No honey you go hunting again, I don't need a break." sigh, head down, sniff. Or " Sure I can work in the nursery even though I have a dinner in an hour for eight people" ( All the while my left eye is twitching to the point where people are looking at me strange.) My favorite is when I refuse help. My hubby will offer to help clean the house and I will look at him meanly, frown and say " No! I'll do it" Why? Why do I do this to myself? For the sheer pleasure of saying I did it all myself? Hello Martyrdom.

So there it is in cyber space for all to behold.... woe is me... he he he Just kidding.....maybe

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!!

Hey girls.. boy have I missed you guys! I have enjoyed my somewhat hectic holidays with the kids. I hope that you all enjoyed your families as well!

Starting the new year has been exciting. I woke up with the endings of a flu that I have been battling. ( Of course I made sure that everyone in my family got a flu shot but me..... how typical of a mama, huh? ) Coughing and tired, I decided to take a hot shower to try to wake up and clear out my throat a little. I left my 10 month old with some toys in the floor and my 2 year old happily watching toons.

I decided to try to start the new year right. I took the only alone time I get to pray. I prayed for God to help me be a good mama and a good wife. I prayed for health and strength and wisdom. I got out of the shower feeling like I was starting the new year on a good foot.

I got dressed, pulled my hair back and even put some makeup on. Feeling confident, I emerged a new woman from the bathroom.........and saw a shiny thread hanging from my ten month olds mouth. I seemed to be moving in slow motion as I ran to her. My 2 year old thought he would be nice by giving her a noise maker to play with. She saw an all you can eat buffet before her and starting to munch happily.

I wanted to throw my head to the heavens and shout " This is not the sign I was looking for!!"

I realized however I didn't pray for a perfect year, I prayed for strength. I sighed, pulled the thread from my shrieking infant and did what any good mama would do. I called my mama. She has assured me that what she swallowed, if she swallowed anything, would come out in the end. (Literally)

I have a call into my doctor because I am seeing shiny threads in twisted intestines. We will see what the doc has to say but more than likely I will be looking for a little sparkle in her poo. A little party in her diaper, if you will. Happy new year to me!!