It started out like any other typical day. I had high hopes for a smooth day....boy was I wrong!
I went in for my standard 12 week OB appointment only for my OB to not find the heartbeat. I felt my own pulse quicken with anticipation as we walked over to the ultrasound room. I had my 2 1/2 year old with me and she was just chatting away. I was trying to appear calm.
As soon as the wand touched my stomach we saw my little plum promptly turn its back to us and refuse to flip around. My first thought was "Oh, this is how baby #3 is going to be...great!" I then had to turn my focus on my almost 3 year old screaming to the top of her lungs " I can't see the baby!!! Too dark!!!"
My OB was laughing.....I was trying to remember why I got pregnant again.
The sudden ultrasound made me late in picking up my son from preschool. There he was in the front lobby with one of my girlfriends that I had called. First thing out of his mouth? "Why are you so late, mama?!?!" As other mamas (who were not late in picking up their offspring) looked on.
Being late caused me to run thru a drive thru on the way home instead of fixing a extra healthy nutritious meal for my brood, which in return caused mama guilt. That in return made me scarf down my food, only to make a swift return when morning sickness hit.
Good times.
Number 1 refused to take a nap while number 2 slept longer than normal which left me balancing trying to keep #1 quiet and entertained. (My boy thought my front living room is a gymnastics center and every time I would walk away I would hear a "BOOM" where he had catapulted his body off of some piece of furniture.)
I then had to wake #2 up so that I could hurry my littles out the door for our last night of t-ball. Of course this was the night that my people did not want to get their shoes on, want to go pee for the last time and wanted to ask about how pumpkins grew. I started to count to ten and decided I needed more than a hundred numbers....
At the ball park my son was drawing letters in the dirt when he should have been trying to catch a ball and lost his glove. Enter lunatic mom yelling through the fence. " Miles, your glove is right here...come and get it...Miles! MILES!!!"
Now moms and dads were looking at me. I was too tired and worn out to care at that point.
I turned to find my daughter was covered in dirt and was throwing it on one of her little playmates....squarely in the eyeballs. I rushed over to her and had a talk about not throwing in which she giggled and did it again. I then picked her up and removed her from her friend which sent her into hysterics and screaming loud enough to wake the dead.
After the game they awarded trophies to the boys only for me to not have a camera. (The only parent not to have one) A fellow mom looked at me sadly and offered to take pictures for me and send them to me. I have to be honest, at this point, I just wanted to crawl under the bench and rock back and forth.
Walking back to the car with another family my daughter shot ahead sing songing " I love to run la la la" I couldn't keep up with her and she darted straight out in the parking lot, trying to escape the grasp of her older brother who was chasing her. I shouted and a mom grabbed her just before she ran in front of a moving vehicle. While I grabbed her this mom was looking at me like I had no business having another child and I believed her. I swiftly started disciplining my daughter only for her start to bawl and guess what? I started to bawl too.
Trying to still talk to my daughter about the dangers of running out in the street, I put my son in his car seat. He was displeased with this because he couldn't talk to his friend in the car beside him. Not having a nap and acting in the flesh, he decided that the proper action to take was to punch the window. All this while his little friends family looked on.
I quickly opened the door and managed to hiss out a warning. Going to the back of my car, I realized that I left the lawn chair waaaaaay back at the ball field. I felt hot tears sting the backs of my eyes and the hubby of my friend beside me must have felt sorry for me because he ran back to get it for me.
I won't bore you with more. (Oh yes, there is more!) The point of rawly exposing my worst day I have had in a long time is simple. Many times we as moms try to come off as perfect. Like we have it all together. As a mom, I see other moms and wonder how they manage to do it all. Or after a really bad long day I wonder if I deserve to be a mom.
One of my friends whom I have not seen for a while confided that she wanted to handle things like I did with the kids. I threw my head back and let out a long hearty laugh. I told her of that awful day where I felt like a total failure as a parent. Her eyes grew wide and she joined me in a good belly laugh.
Because that is the thing with girlfriends who are mama's. We don't only need to share recipes and sewing tips. We need to share the really hard days where our kids are acting a'fool and we are losing it. Because we have all been there!!! We all have days like this. None of us are perfect, have it all together or do the right thing all the time. Just knowing that we are not alone helps us to take a deep breath and hope that tomorrow will be better. (Along with prayer...alot of prayer!)
So next time your friend is having a hard day take some pity on her and tell her a really awful story of yours. It will make everyone feel better!
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