Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Tales of a desperate housewife - They day I wanted to disappear

I have a strong willed child. He is not mean or a fit thrower. He is stealth strong willed. As in, I will plant my feet and smile at you sweetly but I am not changing my mind, sister. Its often a battle of the wills. Two firstborns having a staring contest. Scary stuff.

So when we were potty training, I knew it would consist of alot of prayer.

Number 1 potty training went surprisingly smooth. Like a chicken, I waited till the last possible minute before preschool. Like an answered prayer, he stepped up to the plate and cooperated.

I wish I could say the same for #2.....

For some reason, my beautiful boy decided in his mind that going #2 in the potty was simply not for him. We tried EVERYTHING.

We tried discipline, acting like we didn't care, Rewards, stickers, anything we could think of. NOTHING worked. We even used toddler peer pressure. "But, baby all your cousins and your friends use the potty!!" In which is reply was "Uh, huh that's good, you change me."

Preschool was really fun. At first I did what any mama would do... I sent him in pull ups and prayed like my life depended on it. Of course my boy could have cared less. If the urge hit, he went. Whether it was on the playground, sitting in the circle, in the car or home. No hiding in the corner, embarrassed. He just went on about his day, smelling up the place.

I have to tell you that I was half crazy. I dreaded preschool pick up time like I was marching to my death. I could tell by the teachers face whether he had went or not. We even had a "meeting" about it at parent teacher conferences. She was very very sweet but I wanted to crawl under the table. She then told me that he had to start wearing big boy undies...no pull ups allowed. I think I peed a little in my pants. I assured her that I didn't have a clue why he was having these "accidents."

Yes, I lied. I feel totally guilty about it but I 1.) knew that my little boy loved his school and would be crushed if he had to stop going. 2.) I really loved having those 2 hours with only one baby at home. I know it was bad. I am just keeping it real here.

In total desperation my hubbie and I pulled out the big guns. We took him to Toys R Us. We proudly marched him up and down every isle. We then bent down and told him that if he would go #2 in the potty we would buy him anything in the store. I pointed to a shiny Lightning McQueen bike. I smiled sweetly and said "Do you want a bike? Mama and Daddy will buy you any bike you want if you use the potty!"

His reply? A sweet smile right back with a "no, thank you."

I did a pretty good job at keeping it together until a couple weeks later. A couple of the lovely mamas from his preschool invited us to all go to lunch after we picked up the kids. We went to a restaurant that had a play area. The kids loved going to lunch together and we mamas got to talk!
The kids getting antsy, begged us to let them go play. As we were sitting there chatting about teachers, discipline and sleeping habits, I noticed one of the mamas look over and her face went white. She then whispered my name and motioned me to come over.

As I approached, she leaned over and said "I think Miles may have had an accident" and pointed down on the slide." I felt like I was swimming underwater as I looked down and saw sitting on the slide... a shiny poop ball.

Yep, you heard me right. A poop ball.

My darling boy had used the potty in his big boy undies and in his climbing lost some of his merchandise.

Can I just tell you in that moment I wanted to DIE!!! If I could have any superpower in the world, it would be invisibility and I never would be seen again.

Of course I cleaned it up and used alot of antibacterial gel but needless to say I was traumatised. The other mamas were lovely about the whole thing. They didn't even laugh... that hard.

I can also laugh now. A couple weeks later after the "incident" my little man woke up one school morning, came out and gave me a hug and announced the world. "Today I am going to use the potty." You know what? He did. He just decided that it was his time and he went. Its hard to believe but he has never had an accident since.

It gives me a clue on his personality and how my parenting may need to change as he gets older. I am thankful that he is not a peer pressure follower right now. One day the same quality that I am cursing right now will make a great man and leader.

I just hope I live to see that day :) Anymore poop ball incidents and I may not come out from under the couch.